I’ve had a very crazy 2 years. From reading my blogs, you already know that. But as 2017 quickly comes to a close, it’s time to be grateful for how far I’ve come.
The good news is I’m on my way back to health. Some days are better than others. I had no idea that selling my mill and farm would cause such an emotional response, but I’ve talked to others who have also had that when they have retired. Add to that getting remarried, having several of my animals pass away, and more. I recently learned that my thyroid was going crazy which did not help. Things got a lot worse before they started to get better.
I’m at peace with retiring from the mill and farm, and the rest of the crazy things that happened. I have done tons of reading on thyroid problems and have cut many things out of my food plan while adding a few others. I’m feeling more centered physically too now. Still have a ways to go, but I plan on healing completely and without radiation or medicines.
Writing some of my blogs helped in the healing process along with journaling. My writing gave me something to focus on. This year I finally finished the first knitting and crocheting pattern book and had it ready for the fiber arts show in the Portland area this past September. Then I finished my first novel and it went up on Amazon right after Thanksgiving. The next one is already started.
I have returned to the Oregon Coast. I can again hear the waves crashing on the beach less than a mile from my house. I’m slowly unpacking and finding a place for things, while taking care of me and writing and knitting. My small loom is waiting for me to finish the old project on it and my big loom is needing some repairs after all the moving in the past 18 months.
Hope (my cat) is making herself right at home. She loves sitting beside the computer on my desk and helps on occasion with strange characters being added to words as her paws are way bigger than the keys.
Last February, in the height of my sadness and grief, I found a program that helped me find my way back. I had to write down 5 areas of my life that I wanted to focus on in the coming year. I had a difficult time, but came up with: Health, Abundance, Creativity, Adventure, and Spiritual Growth.
I created a small poster like page on my computer and posted it around my room, on my mirror, on my closet door, on my desk above my computer. Places I would see it when I woke up, and before I went to sleep, where I dressed and where I worked. I found that by reading it several times a day, it refocused my tired mind and spirit.
Early this morning, my husband said something about legs and that if we didn’t have them we would be scraping our backsides (not the word he used) on the sidewalk. I became very grateful that I have my legs to move me through this world. I’m grateful that I can walk. I’m grateful that I have arms and hands and a body and a brain that moved me through my day and week and months on this planet. I’m grateful for my body, even when I’ve abused it with running into things and bruising it, when I say untruths to it and my body knows better, when I neglect it and it still functions and works. I am so grateful for my healing that is taking place as I write and breath and move about each moment.
I am so grateful for my abundance this year in the new friends I have made and the old ones I have connected more with. I am grateful for my abundance in understanding in so many areas. I am grateful for a house to live in and healthy food on my table and a space to do the work I love. I am grateful for all the things that have come into my life this year.
I am so very grateful for my creativity. When my first husband passed away 5 years ago, all my creativity stopped. My novel sat untouched for 2 and a half years. I did not want to knit if I did not have to, or to sew, or to write. Just as I was starting to create again, I sold the business and farm, my creativity took a back seat and stopped again. I am very grateful to have it back and flowing like a great river.
I am thankful that I have had several very wonderful adventures this year. mostly small, but some large too. In May I attended a service retreat for a week. I found a peace in giving that I always have had return. It was very healing. This fall, I traveled to Alaska to see my children. We visited some glaciers that we hiked out to, then had the most perfect day driving up to Denali. It was the kind of day that people wait their whole vacations to have and don’t. I am looking forward to many more adventures this next year.
Oh, the spiritual growth. The understanding, the knowledge, the aha moments, the renewal of spirit, the letting go. Really letting go of the things I cannot change as the serenity prayer says that I speak every day. I have found the peace that passes understanding and I want to hold on to it. I am so thankful for this.
I found that all of these areas of focus are connected at every level, they are dependent on each other and that was another aha moment.
I am grateful now for the past 2 years. It has been an intense period of growth. It makes me very grateful for all that has come before to get me to where I am right now. I know it will serve me forever.
As I pause to wait for the next few words to flow out of my fingers this early morning, I look at my small Christmas tree with the lights on and adorned with my angel collection, I see my menorah that is ready to be put back on the shelf and always reminds me of our human diversity, and I feel the magic of the solstice that has just passed.
I am grateful. I am at peace. I am happy. What more can I ask.
May you be blessed with joy, love, and peace in the coming year.