Many weeks ago, in the evening, I was sitting with my husband watching TV. Well sort of watching TV, he was watching, I was knitting. It was just on.
There was a commercial I had seen (heard) many times before. A woman is standing there, in a very nice formfitting dress with very high heels on, holding a 40-pound bag of lemons. She says “I’ve lost this much weight with …” I don’t remember the name of the weight loss program, but I’m guessing you can figure out what I’m talking about. The lemons fall to the floor as if they are too heavy for her to hold.
My mind went into calculation mode. “Ok,” it said to me. “You were pushing 210 about 12 years ago. And for the past 9 years you have weighted 50 to 65 pounds less. And now you are more than 70 pounds less. WOW!!!” 70 just seems like a bigger number, maybe because I’m under the 140 mark.
I already knew this, I really did. I remember the journey well (in both directions and all the side trips and ups and downs along the way), but it really hadn’t had the same impact as it did that evening. Maybe it was more so because in dropping the extra pounds recently, am at a weight I haven’t seen in about 25 years (I remember where we were living and when the weight gain came and did not go away).
Two mornings before this aha, I put on a ‘button up the front dress’ I got about 4 years ago. At times it has fit nicely and others it was too small and I felt uncomfortable with the buttons pulling in the front. Well, now it was uncomfortable because it is now to big! There is about 8 inches of wiggle room around the waist when comfortable was about 3-4 inches. It feels like I’m wearing my mother’s dress like when we were children and played dress up.
I’m not complaining, trust me on that. I’m just amazed at the thoughts and realizations and how well and healthy I feel. It feels strange to put on a pair of jeans that were too tight and now they are so loose that I need a belt and my shirt tucked in to keep then up. To put on a top that fit well and now hangs loosely. To put on underwear that is too big and rides up and feels … well awkwardly weird.
Sometimes I need to stop and take inventory about how I’m feeling about stuff. How I’m feeling about me. Right now, I feel GREAT!
I remember when I had taken off the first 40 to 50 pounds and was around 160 and picked up a 40 to 50-pound bag of alpaca feed and realizing that is what I carried around all the time. No wonder my body was not happy. Why my knees and feet always hurt. Why it was so hard to lift the bags of feed. They were easier not just because of weight but I had gotten stronger along the way too. I was doing all the farm chores and you can’t help but build some muscles.
This last couple of months, I have had lots of energy to do all sorts of things. I’ve built shelves for books and craft/weaving/show supplies, repaired my loom and moved it upstairs, got my veggie garden in, attended a work retreat where I painted walls and clean shops, cleared some Scotch Broom from the yard, cleared the beach path, cleaned up the Labyrinth, and lots more.
I have been doing everything to take care of myself. Getting to bed at a reasonable time and getting enough sleep. I’ve done my morning meditations and eaten my healthy food plan every day. I’ve even done this with a great deal of traveling in the past 9 months.
I now am happy in my body. Even if I never lost another pound, I’m happy. I no longer need to compare myself to “Twiggy,” a model that was so thin it was scary from the 1960’s. I weighted in at 125 in high school and I thought I was fat. In comparison, I was healthy at that weight.
Today, I am a little more than that, but a weight I’ve lived in a lot of my adult life. I don’t have to be Twiggy any more. That alone is a huge shift. I don’t have to compare myself to anyone else.
I’m happy with who I am on the outside and more importantly, who and what I am on the inside.
Life is good. Last week, I went on a hike with my daughters and some friends. We climbed 600 feet in a very short time. Yes, I could feel my heart working when we stopped to take a short breather, but I felt good. Not winded and gasping for breath. Just taking the path nice and easy. And the views! Well they were spectacular and so worth the climb.
Will I hit the 80-pound mark? I don’t know, but either way, I feel great!
It’s amazing what you can do when you feel healthy and well in body, mind, and spirit.
So, to all those ads for diets, there is more than just the food. It’s sleep, it’s taking time out to meditate or pray or be quiet with yourself, getting into liking who you are and owning what you are.
It’s about getting healthy in all the parts of your life.
Wishing all of my readers, good health and liking yourself, right where you are.